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n°3

I hoped I could be the artist and you could be the muse.

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n°10

And you remind me of Verlaine - lost in his homosexuality and decadent art. And I fell for this things, because you make (fuck) art in my heart.  "Here are fruits, flowers, leaves and branches, and here is my heart which beats only for you."

How does it feel to be depressed?

1. That even switching off the alarm is killing me. 2. That I am not enough and never will be. 3. My friends do not actually care, they only want to seem perfect and saint. 4. If I am happy, I do not deserve it and it feels wrong. 5. "Just wait until you get into your room where nobody sees you. Do not burst into tears until then." 6. I care too much and I am too conceited. 7. I say something horrible about me selfishly just because I want to hear something good after long day.  8. Do not believe compliments. 9. I suck. 10. I cannot get out of the bed. "How do I do that?" 11. It feels like everyone is just lying to me. 12. Do not want to burden anyone, so I just write down anything to feel alive. 13. Do not want to kill myself, because it would burden someone.  14. Do not want to talk with others because I just poison their happiness. 15. It feels like everyone is leaving me. 16. I pretend to be happy just not to burden anyone. 17. I...