How does it feel to be depressed?

1. That even switching off the alarm is killing me.

2. That I am not enough and never will be.

3. My friends do not actually care, they only want to seem perfect and saint.

4. If I am happy, I do not deserve it and it feels wrong.

5. "Just wait until you get into your room where nobody sees you. Do not burst into tears until then."

6. I care too much and I am too conceited.

7. I say something horrible about me selfishly just because I want to hear something good after long day. 

8. Do not believe compliments.

9. I suck.

10. I cannot get out of the bed. "How do I do that?"

11. It feels like everyone is just lying to me.

12. Do not want to burden anyone, so I just write down anything to feel alive.

13. Do not want to kill myself, because it would burden someone. 

14. Do not want to talk with others because I just poison their happiness.

15. It feels like everyone is leaving me.

16. I pretend to be happy just not to burden anyone.

17. I am not good enough.

18. I do not want to do anything because I will just suck it.

19. Everything I did looks aborted.

20. I have a lot of remorses following every my step (so I just do not walk).

21. I pretend to be optimistic, but actually I do not see anything good out there.

22. I feel like none of my dreams are valuable.

23. I feel like everything I want and achieved in my life is unnecessary.

24. Everything feels so difficult.

25. I feel like nothing is good about me and everyone else is simply perfect.

26. I do care about problems of others, but when I cannot solve them, I feel down, worthless and incapable.

27. I burden everyone.

28. I leave.

29. I feel like I complain too much.

30. I hate myself.

31. I hate myself more.

32. When I get better I am afraid it will come back - it always does and it gets worse.

33. I struggle with not hurting myself.

34. I do not eat. I do not know why. I just do not. It feels right.

35. I am tired all day and all night, nevertheless I cannot sleep, nor relax. It is like sleep likes me neither.

36. If anyone asks me how I feel I just say "okay". I do not want to talk about my depression, because they all will look at me just like I was weird.

37. I feel weird.

38. I like to think about my death and bad ilnesses.

39. I like to sleep because I do not dream and nothing really exist. But then I have to wake up.

40. I fear loving someone.