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How does it feel to be depressed?

1. That even switching off the alarm is killing me.
2. That I am not enough and never will be.
3. My friends do not actually care, they only want to seem perfect and saint.
4. If I am happy, I do not deserve it and it feels wrong.
5. "Just wait until you get into your room where nobody sees you. Do not burst into tears until then."
6. I care too much and I am too conceited.
7. I say something horrible about me selfishly just because I want to hear something good after long day. 
8. Do not believe compliments.
9. I suck.
10. I cannot get out of the bed. "How do I do that?"
11. It feels like everyone is just lying to me.
12. Do not want to burden anyone, so I just write down anything to feel alive.
13. Do not want to kill myself, because it would burden someone. 
14. Do not want to talk with others because I just poison their happiness.
15. It feels like everyone is leaving me.
16. I pretend to be happy just not to burden anyone.
17. I am not good enough.
18. I do not want to do anything because I will just suck it.
19. Everything I did looks aborted.
20. I have a lot of remorses following every my step (so I just do not walk).
21. I pretend to be optimistic, but actually I do not see anything good out there.
22. I feel like none of my dreams are valuable.
23. I feel like everything I want and achieved in my life is unnecessary.
24. Everything feels so difficult.
25. I feel like nothing is good about me and everyone else is simply perfect.
26. I do care about problems of others, but when I cannot solve them, I feel down, worthless and incapable.
27. I burden everyone.
28. I leave.
29. I feel like I complain too much.
30. I hate myself.
31. I hate myself more.
32. When I get better I am afraid it will come back - it always does and it gets worse.
33. I struggle with not hurting myself.
34. I do not eat. I do not know why. I just do not. It feels right.
35. I am tired all day and all night, nevertheless I cannot sleep, nor relax. It is like sleep likes me neither.
36. If anyone asks me how I feel I just say "okay". I do not want to talk about my depression, because they all will look at me just like I was weird.
37. I feel weird.
38. I like to think about my death and bad ilnesses.
39. I like to sleep because I do not dream and nothing really exist. But then I have to wake up.
40. I fear loving someone.

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Obľúbené príspevky z tohto blogu

n°8

I wanted you to be the love that changes. You were the love that destroyes. I wanted her to be the friend that heals, she was the friend that abuses. I wanted him to be the one that destroys my pain, he was the one that did not give a fuck. I wanted you all to be my life, you are the ones that killed me

n°10

Why should I talk? Words are hated, words are loved, but able to kill. Look at the silence - how easily it can be killed with a word. Within a second you are murderer. But what is amazing about silence is that it can be reborn in a second, too.